Homeward by Frankie Love

Author:Frankie Love [Love, Frankie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-08-08T05:00:00+00:00

Back in Linesworth, I pour myself into the movie. My heart and my goddamn soul. God knows Laila doesn’t want it. Want me. She made that loud and fucking crystal clear. After getting to know Charlie and Ansel, and their brother-in-law Clive, I learn that the character I’m playing in the film, Luke, was a real stand-up guy. It makes me want to fucking nail this role because Luke’s memory deserves that.

And since Laila told me to go; not once but twice, I decide the last thing a girl as wounded as her needs is a man forcing her into a relationship she doesn’t want.

Damn, is that what love is? Giving up what you want for someone else?

If it is, I don’t want love. Not real love. Not this.

Because it kills me.

It also fuels my scenes every day when I show up on set.

Griff, the director is floored, in fucking tears when I deliver the monologue that closes the movie.

“What got into you, man?” he asks after he shouts ‘That’s a wrap’ to the cast and crew.

“You thought it went well?” I ask, knowing in my heart that I put it all out there.

“It’s gonna win us an Oscar.”

“Don’t jinx it,” I say, laughing. But deep down, I think he might be right. You can’t fake heartache like this.”

He smirks, then claps me on the back. “You killed it, Colton.”

The compliment, from him; it really means a lot. “Thanks, Griff. It’s always an honor to work with you.”

“So, what’s next?” he asks me as we walk toward the trailers.

“I don’t know. I want out of L.A., I know that much.”

“You’re crazy, Cole. To be thirty in L.A., with millions in the bank. You’re living the dream. So, you want out of L.A.? What does that even look like? And for what?”

I clench my jaw, thinking of Laila. Always thinking of Laila.

“I don’t know. I’m gonna go home and lie low, try to figure my shit out.” I think about how I turned my phone on for the first time in weeks, and how Rozzy had left hundreds of messages. How they had grown in their level of urgency.

Eventually, I trashed the entire phone, preferring no connection to the outside than that one. The worst part is, I brought it on myself. I am the one who took her out in the first fucking place. She seemed so normal, but after the date, I realized pretty damn fast it was an act.

Griff brings me back to the present. “That two-month road trip didn’t give you any clarity?”

“Clarity?” I run a hand through my hair. “I thought so. But... I don’t know, Griff. Do you ever feel like two parts of your life are competing with one another?”

Griff pushes his lips forward. “What, you mean like wanting to be a good dad, and all that shit but also loving directing and unable to stop being a workaholic?

“Yeah,” I say, nodding. “How do you deal with that?”

He shrugs. “I always let someone down.”

I swallow.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.